Welcome back, friends.
Monday
It’s going to be in the 70s today, so I decide to wear a dress. However, even though it’s 70 degrees outside, inside it feels like it’s in the 50s, even with the heat on.
So here I am, sitting at my desk in my wool coat, wrapped in a John Hanly blanket, with a hot water bottle on my lap and a cup of tea beside me.
If this doesn’t work, I might have to go outside to warm up.
Later, Ger and I talk about what’s next for us. With James graduating in less than five years, the door to more adventure is beginning to open. I can feel something shifting, and my mind is beginning to dream about what life might look like a few years from now.
With Ger being from Ireland, the idea of moving abroad one day, or having a second home abroad, has always lingered in the back of our minds. Over the years, we’ve talked about England, Scotland, and various other countries.
Today, France is our destination. We decide to explore a few regions that might suit us: Bordeaux, Brittany, Aix-en-Provence, and Montpellier. (I would love to include Paris, but I don’t think we could swing the cost.)
I put together a presentation with everything I can think of to help us compare the different places, from climate to cultural vibe. Based on the research, we think Bordeaux might tick the most boxes.
We’re looking for a place that feels completely different from the life we have now. Our life in Massachusetts is quiet, cozy, and safe, and offers us so much. But we’re also craving a place where we can step outside our door and find ourselves in the heart of a city, surrounded by wonderful food and wine, shops, and cultural attractions.
I especially want to be surrounded by beautiful architecture (which is why Paris is so appealing) and places steeped in history. Sorry, CVS, but you’re not cutting it.
Ideally, we’d have a little pied-à-terre in the city, somewhere we could return to throughout the year, alongside our cozy New England home to come back to.
After our conversation, I decide to open a bottle of Saint-Émilion wine to commemorate taking one more step toward our next adventure.
Who knows where it might lead?
Tuesday
One of the benefits of working from home is being able to pop out to the garden and snip some chives for lunch.
Today I’m having smashed yellow potatoes with butter, salt, and fresh chives, alongside a side of Heinz beans.
Cheap and cheerful, as they say.
Wednesday
The number of side businesses, websites, and creative projects I’ve had over the years would probably be enough to last someone a lifetime. But not me. Some might say I’m unable to commit. I just call myself curious.
Lately, I’ve had a little niggle inside me telling me I’m ready for something new. What’s been swirling around in my mind is the idea of creating spaces where women can welcome their creative and curious selves.
By the afternoon, my notebook is filling up with ideas, and my inbox is full of thoughts I’ve had on my walk.
I’m not sure where any of this will go, but I’m excited to take the first step and find out.
Thursday
The sky is a dull November gray, and the trees are barely holding on to their leaves. It’s unseasonably humid for this time of year. How are you supposed to hibernate when you can’t even wear a sweatshirt comfortably?
I transition my breakfast from Greek yogurt to oatmeal. I fill my bowl with oats, applesauce, cinnamon, various nuts and seeds, sultanas, and freshly diced apples.
It’s autumn in a bowl.
It’s lovely, but does anyone else feel more hungry after eating oatmeal?
I’m ravenous.
Friday
Lately, I’ve been having dreams where I feel completely out of control. Last night, I was driving a car that was speeding down a hill, even though I had my foot pressed all the way to the floor on the brake. Similar scenarios have been playing out in my dreams over the past few days.
I think it’s my anxiety making an appearance. Maybe it senses that something new is brewing and is desperately trying to put the brakes on. The body is a funny thing.
Then I woke up, opened Substack, and came across this post from Kimberly Wheeler:
“For those of you on the edge of a big decision or big life change…
American poet Lorine Niedecker reminds us that change is often preceded by anxiousness and the answer is to move:
‘Birds feel something akin to pain (and fear) just before migration. Nothing alleviates this feeling except flight.’”
Maybe I’m just a bird ready to fly?
Saturday
Every morning before I got on the bus to go to school, my dad would say to me, “Make it a great day, Abby!”
It wasn’t until much later, as an adult, that I understood what he meant. It wasn’t “Have a great day.” It was “Make it a great day.” There was a difference.
Things don’t always fall into our laps. Feelings don’t always magically appear. Days don’t always go the way we plan. But when we take an active approach to our lives, we give ourselves a much better chance of creating the life we want. We won’t always have great days, but we always have the opportunity to turn them around.
We have some control over our own happiness if we choose to “do life, and don’t let life do you.”
So today, I’m remembering what my dad said to me all those years ago and choosing to do just that.
And now, every morning before school, I tell my son, “Make it a great day, James!” I want him to know that he has the power to create meaning in his day, too.
Sunday
I get an early start to the day and head to the grocery store. I’m making a heartwarming stew for dinner, something I can get started in the afternoon and have simmering away until we’re ready to eat.
At the store, I notice that the Christmas Coke is out, with the iconic Santa on the packaging. It reminds me of when I was little and my grandma would put up the 7Up Santa calendar in the kitchen. She would stick a cotton ball on it for each day as we counted down to Christmas.
The things we remember.
Once the stew is finished and simmering, I decide to treat myself to an afternoon at Starbucks. I can’t escape the Christmas feeling. The holiday cups are out, and evergreen garland is on display to give everything a festive feel.
I guess there’s no point fighting it. It’s time to embrace the holidays.
As I sit enjoying my chai latte and a little time to myself, I get a text from James asking me to pick him up a Frappuccino.
I guess I can’t escape my role as a mother, either.
Until our next cup of tea,
Abby ❤️